Saturday 1 February 2014

My Hijab and my closeness to Allah, my creator


I met a brother a few years ago and when I was leaving he touched my head. In Asian culture that indicates that his giving his sister respect, a blessing. Was really heart warming and he didn't have to do that. I love helping and never ask for anything but means so much when you are given respect.

That day, that beautiful moment, I decided I must cover my head as it felt so bare. Never knew in a million years that I would become closer to my Deen. Allah wrote my destiny and he is guiding me by thought, feeling so proud of myself; my heart is crying tears of a new life, that joy. 

Allah (God) will never let me walk alone and will be there, every step of the way, as I've just entered the Islamic path a few months ago.

My head felt so bare. I was taking it very slowly before I covered my head as family were saying don't rush. But the power of Allah, that deep feeling is out of this world and I've got so much to learn. I started off wearing just a scarf on my head so that I could get used to it, as it was a big step and I was feeling nervous. 

Insha Allah I will get there, may Allah be pleased with me and if I make a mistake I do ask for forgiveness. 

I did this for a few weeks, my head was half covered and my hair was still showing. But It didn't feel right, so on 29th November 2012 I put on my hijab, I asked everyone on my Social sites and blogs to send me healing prayers as it was my first day wearing the hijab and where I work I was the only Muslim women working there. How would they react to the new me."

Accepting the Hijab is for me 
"I'm doing it for me and from my heart"

As I was driving to work, I was asking Allah for guidance and strength. I saw this eldery man, with an white beard in the car behide me. He was a Muslim and I felt that Allah had sent him on my path with the message, everything will be well and to give me that extra guidance that I needed that day. 

I walked into work, head held high and with the guidance of this eldery man that I had seen that morning. I have no idea who he was, but he gave me encouragement. Also Allah will never let me walk this journey alone and will be there, every step of the way. Insha Allah. God willing. 

I'm also so blessed to have brothers and sisters who walk my journey along side me. I had a few people look and some nice compliments, some didn't now what to say. I explained to a few who asked but in all everything went well. 

My hijab is my protection and that closeness to Allah, my creator whom I will return back home one day. 

Alhamdulillah "Praise be to God for creating such beauty"

Wednesday 29 January 2014

Those silent tears within


I've silently cried deep down inside and if you look at this picture very closely, you will see in my eyes that this was my saddest moment that  day. This was the moment that I looked at my life and thought to myself, I just can't carry on like this. I need to live for me, my boys and my life time partner. 

From that precise moment, that week, those incidents that occurred that day, I decided that I was going to come first, live for me and the tears that came when I made that big decision was the worst that I had ever experienced

I'd cried so much I felt like this is it and I was at a total loss as each member of my blood family deserted me on my darkest hour but as I took those tiny steps that followed, one by one, my life slowly started to change for the better and a new life was born, the new me that you see today. 

Tonight I want you to pay attention to your eyes as they hold all your answers to your life and they are the closest that you will ever come to when communicating to your soul. 

Night and God bless

Love Sara Khan