Saturday, 6 October 2012

" Your daughter, your honour and your responsibility "

We should learn by each lesson sent our way, if it comes again, that lessons wasn't learned or I need to really stop craving what will never be. But my heart must be getting stronger with time, as I had a fantastic sleep. Always look at what is in front of you, I'm looking at my two boys fighting over what to watch on TV. This is how my destiny was written, God took all my blood family away from me, as they had taught me the lessons that I had to take from them. But he made sure I had a family that I made to replace them all! My rock, that's my husband who is my support and he will always stand next to me on this wonderful journey. My little boys, yes they drive me mad but they are my world and I will protect them forever. Then I have two sister in laws, who are more like sisters and they are the sisters that I lost. Then it's you the world who are my strength and in time my love for you all has grown so big. I really love you all, truly I do.

Yesterday I learned a daughter is for life and not only for a short time. I'm sure you will all happily accept this daughter in your heart and then I can stop craving what will never ever happen, as it wasn't written in my destiny to receive love from my blood family.

Have a nice day and stay blessed. I'm going to spend it with my lovely family and spoil them. Going to cook them a big feast.

Love and Peace

Sara Khan

Friday, 5 October 2012

No phone call from my mum

What do I say, but my gut, that signal from that angel was wrong and no phone call from my mum! Or was it another test to see how strong I really was? Got to stop hurting myself, start building that wall again and very high this time. So strong that no one in the world can knock it back down again. Not going to lie, but it hurts like mad that your own flesh can just dismiss you. But this time round I was strong and even if she did call, I wouldn't have broken down like the last time. Yes, got tears at the back of my eyes but I'm proud of myself as they are still locked in. Don't now what I've learned from this yet, maybe this is the time to stop craving what will never be. If your thinking have I forgiven, yes I have as it really wasn't written in my destiny to receive love from my mother. No one can say that I didn't try, I did, again and again. But I'm going to bring myself out from this sadness, this pain, memorise a happy time and focus on the future as it does look bright!

No one can say I've got no heart, it's massive and full of love.

God made me a mother, so I wouldn't crave my own and not only that, he made me the worlds mother.

I will deal with the whys tomorrow as at this precise time I have no idea. Actually there is a lot of whys spinning in my head, why did I call, why did I listen and why again, I should have learned by know.

But you know what Allah knows best, what ever was the plan I'm sure it will all come together.

My next dilemma will be when she passes away, it will happen and yes them tears have come. But I'm so lucky to have tears, as they are a blessing! Think I'm glad I'm by myself know, don't want to upset anyone.

Just look after your daughters please? As they truly do have heaven under their feet.

Love and Peace

Sara Khan

Need a hug really but I'm strong and will be fine. X

Craved my mum, left a message for her to phone me!

Incase you all wondering what's the big deal in receiving a phone call from my mother! As most of you now my family have disowned me, because I found my lost voice and the last time I called my blood family I found out that there was more victims in India! I tried my best to find these girls but again family honour won I know they will be suffering, as I've being there!

But doing all of this, I went back to the very first step, depressed and all them whys. I will never understand why my family would choose family honour over my abusers. But I promise you all, I will talk to my mother, brothers and family but I will not break down. I will be strong for all the victims who have no voice as they need me.

But I will never understand why daughters always come second best. These abusers are free to hurt others and I am powerless to do anything. In time we will change all of this, our children are the future and all the little girls will not be second best.

To everyone who has no voice yet, I hope seen my strength encourages you to stand up for the little child in you. Don't let anyone control your life, as you are important.

Anyway, pray for me please as I have no idea what my creator has planned next. But my faith will get me through this step that I've taken, as big heart was telling me to call them!!

Insha Allah

Sara Khan

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Them craving will return, be strong

I craved my blood family today, yes I miss them and it hurt. That void that they have left in my life, I felt that emptiness and them tears nearly returned. Then I thought how can they just dismiss that they had a daughter for the sake of family honour! I know I'm this strong women who wants to spread peace, but I am human and with feelings that at times does break down. I might have lost all my blood family but I gained a rock, my husband who stands at my side as I travel this amazing journey. Then I have my two beautiful boys that comfort me with warmth hugs. But one thing that I value is you the world who have filled that gap that my blood family dismissed. I will bring myself out of this sadness as no way will I break down and go back to that time which was filled with tears. But in all of this I have my faith that will be with me for the rest of my living days. So yes, I have everything and more but it's ok to go back in time to see what has being left be hide. This is my time to shine and I will as you the world will always be my energy that will always be my strength that continues to lead me to pure peace.

Please treasure your daughters as they are your honour and your responsibility. Sara X